White Queen: DKMU Godform Cycle week seven

After preparing her altar I compose the incense for White Queen. I chose white camphor, sage, rosemary and lemon grass. We performed KIa banishing and did the evocation. I expected to get nothing after reading descriptions of her in DKMU Egregores. My first contact wasn’t easy to describe but I definitely could feel her. I decided to proceed with a tarot reading.

Medieval Scapini Tarot : 8 of wands

Swift activity sudden progress or movement, speed, hastily made decisions. too rapid advancement.

Automatic writing.

The second time I meditated with the White Queen I felt a surge of inspiration and a stream of automatic writing followed.

A blank sheet of paper invites writing, it invites creativity and imagination. But a blank sheet of paper can also be intimidating, invoking our self doubt, fear that can stop us in place.

Blank sheet of paper is like a mirror reflecting our inner light back to us. To realize that in reality our future is a blank sheet can be equally liberating and terrifying.

In the paradigm where all is information, all is language. Every system from  a piece of software to ecology of our planet can be re-written.

My mind thinks of the final scene in ‘Stalker’. Would you want the responsibility for the whole world’s future to rest in your hands?

In reality it does, no matter how much we try to distract ourselves from it.

If we want White Queen to freeze system that undermines us, we need to inject her into its veins. Like a powerful drug she can affect the whole sets of systems within the body. she can trigger altered state incompatible with designed function the system or a an entity is supposed to perform. She is the white crystal, a virus, a form neither alive nor dead.

Her command is FREEZE! She holds you at a guns point. She can pacify, like a ufo taking control over nuclear missiles or switching off electricity grid of a whole city.

she is like a snowstorm cutting of towns and covering all roads. she is the end, the eraser of species. she is the new possibilities and the fresh growth springing up like a snowdrop from beneath the ice.

I feel her presence hitting really strong, like a frosty wind going right into my eyes. Her silence seems to screams at me with its infinite potential.

I remember skiing in a sunshine… The speed and smooth flow on the icy currents transitioning into soft traverse of untouched snow. Drawing the first line on the bank sheet, painting an unknown rune on the snow’s surface. Blinded by the sun, cruising into the unknown, confident and happy, knowing how to land softly. You can forget everything in such a  moment. It’s just you and perpetual movement of life.

She is that moment when drug hits you, when everything slows down just to launch you into space. She is the shock you feel waking up from a lucid dream. She switches the gears. She is that night you can not remember, forgotten deadline, lost connection, missed opportunity….

(At this point unknowingly I skipped a couple of pages in my diary leaving them blank. It seems like a part of the magick. )

…all that reminds you to be watchful, focused and switched on.

She keeps you at a guns point, always on edge, always here and now.

Automatic drawing

Dream of a White Cult

The week with White Queen was getting towards the end and I ended up with another quiet still meditation. At the end I asked her if she has a message and suggested to visit me in a dream. That night I dreamed being trapped in a small town with white buildings. All of them where white like in Greece. I lost my bicycle and decided to leave on foot but the roads were closed. I couldn’t get out. This part of a dream repeated over and over and each time something else prevented me from leaving.

The town itself was calm and pretty. It reminded me of the village in the Prisoner. There were cafés and shops etc. One character drew my attention. It was a tall man dressed like a tramp. He had brown hair and looked really mausy. The weirdest of all he had whiskers so I called him the Whisker Man. He was constantly playing some kind of trick on other people in the town. He seemed not bothered by anything and people for some reason tolerated him. I couldn’t work out why.  I got a sense that if someone will help me to get out it will be him because he has secrets possibly about the whole town. I could tell by looking into his eyes.

Meanwhile I was leaving the town again only to stumble upon police vehicles and a barricade. I decided to try an alternative route along the edge of a steep cliff. I only took few steps when a red camper van went right across the edge and rolled down. It was a pretty bad crush but I noticed there are survivors and began climbing down to rescue them. As I did I lost my footing and fell as well. I managed to garb onto a ledge and hanged there helplessly. The people from the van were unharmed and helped me out onto the road.

When I was back on the cliff top I was greeted by a group of women dressed in white robes. They took me back to the village and into their building. They were part of some cult that they decided to introduce me to. I didn’t trust them at all but seeing no other choice i played along. They dressed me in white and took me to their leader. We sat around a round table next to a window. The leader turned out to be a topless male with a scruffy hair. He had two male topless assistants. They gave him hooks and he started piercing his chest with them. I began feeling faint and my main female guide (possibly high priestess) ordered the male assistants to cover him. She said Polish women generate the opposite type of energy and are naturally sensitive to this. I thought to myself that this is all unbelievable bullshit but kept quiet.  Dream ended.

Dream of a White Dragon

This dream followed right from the previous one. I was going to  a football match with my friends (something I have never done in real life.) We went inside an old brick building to a cloakroom. There was a waiting area there and all the tables were taken by  a large group of blonde girls wearing pink with bunny ears on their heads. They looked like hen party but might have been cheerleaders. We went pass them to go on a chairlift that was suppose to take us to our destination. We all sat together. The sits began moving before I had a chance to put my safety belt on so I did it quickly and so did my friends. We were all giggling with excitement. The ride moved fast and the chairs split so now I was on my own.

My chair was soon in the air but I could see no polls or lines holding it there. The ride was fantastic, like a roller-coaster only better because I was alone and went over the sea and other desolate places. I was laughing and screaming and having a great time. I could see a flock of geese right over my head. It was like one of those flying dream/astral travels. I was almost lucid at this point.

Then the chair landed. I was in a red desert with a mountains and a dried out river. It reminded me of California. The place was overgrown with thistles or some similar spiky plants. Someone was there waiting for me and they were telling me a story but I was distracted and couldn’t listen because I was getting spiked by the plants. I wasn’t sure where we were headed. It seems there is nothing there and no one beside us.

I looked around me and saw a beautiful silvery white dragon land on the cliff edge towering above us on the other side of the river. I recognised it as a manifestation of the White Queen and was just about to approach her when I woke up in my bed to the sound of an alarm clock.

Ino: DKMU Godform Cycle week three

After a very intense week with Doombringer the time came to welcome Ino. Her energy proved very soothing and gentle but with a very sharp edge.

I constructed the altar in the morning and composed incense for her from white sandalwood, blue lotus, jasmine flowers and frankincense. After evoking her I sat in a meditation. I noticed a familiar strange shivery cold feeling creeping up my spine. It was very strong. I interpreted this as a sign of Ino’s presence. My mind became flooded with impressions and memories somewhat disjointed but connected through a thread of an invisible force. She revealed herself to me as the May Queen decorated with jasmine and other summer flowers. I received the impression of excitement and joy associated with new discovery. She invites us on a new journey.

What I noticed working with her the first evening as well as later is that she directed my attention inwards and towards my body.  Suddenly I could feel all the stiff parts that need a hot bath and some yoga. I could feel the inner tension both physically and psychologically. Becoming aware of it was distracting but also constructive. I was forced to work towards removing it, take some time for myself and just chill.

I didn’t get the conversational chatter from her like I did with Agent 663. She was more distant and subliminal. I took notice of a dream involving seals I had during her week.

Seals

I was on a cliff watching the see. Suddenly I noticed a whole family of seals with young pups coming to the shore. They hauled out onto a peer. I felt a strong connection to them, like usual when I dream or see them in real life. Then a noisy family parked their car on the roadside and began strolling towards the seals. Like a typical British family they seemed to behave like the whole world revolves around them. I approached them and confronted them about it, asking them to be more considerate and do not disturb the seals. The family wanted to see the seals but treated them like cartoon caricatures, not the wild sea beasts that they truly are. The father began asking me where I come from and behaving semi racist. I was able to deflect his dominance display and point to the practicality of sharing the space both with myself and the seals. Eventually the family listened and backed off.

The dream seemed to be a powerful cometary about immigration and my anxiety with  growth in xenophobia and racism. Speaking out in defence of minorities often results in being attacked and harassed but doing so can have positive results.

UFO Tarot: 7 of Disks and 4 of Swords

“Keeping the desire for knowledge alive means giving oneself the possibility of growth.”

“Serenity and wisdom are achieved by accepting destiny.”

Know Thyself

Even though most of my meditations with Ino were silent and calm I did feel her presence and vibe during the whole week very strongly. It seemed synchronistic and important that during my time with her I found out about Misophonia. I always recognised that my relationship to sound is different. Misophonia means ‘hatred of sound’ and it’s characterised by a mild to powerful flight or fight response to certain seemingly innocent sounds like typing on a keyboard or the crunching of popcorn. I experienced fits of absolute rage at my mum crunching apples when I was growing up. I could never understand why the sound was setting me off so badly. Everyone can get annoyed at noisy eaters occasionally but this was way beyond annoyed. I felt like I wanted to crush her skull with my naked hands.

All the writings about misophonia I came across focused on the negatives but I have a very rich and beautiful relationship to sound. I recorded an album with my indie band back in 2004 and I love doing sound recordings for my Glen Faramach project. The only time I managed to receive a first grade at university was when I was in charge of sound design for film or worked on an abstract documentary for radio.

I wonder if misophonia can have surprising side effects. Since I remember I always found the sound of pen on paper highly pleasurable  and listening to small sounds can put me in deep trance very quickly. I indulged in this during my meditations especially when Anton went to do his automatic drawings. It was a very interesting self exploration for me.

Automatic drawing.

I find the use of empty space in both 663 and Ino drawings interesting. It’s a great example how this technique can produce unique results.

After few days of silent meditation I did receive a very clear message. We decided to independently asked Ino for advice regarding our creative projects and how to get them to the point of being self-sustaining financially. I was surprised at what followed. It was a continuous, unbroken stream of automatic writing that filled 3 pages of my diary. The advice was comprehensive, detailed and very precise. It covered all the bases and gave me a very practical and down to earth run down of do’s and don’ts both personal and interpersonal. I will definitely follow up on that.

Overall my week with Ino felt like a small peak through an ajar door. She is clearly multifaceted  and has more to offer than one might initially suspect.  There is something really tough about her. Something disconcerting and uneasy. She definitely represents a side of magick I have been neglecting for various reasons, one that I need to reconnect  with.