Abramelin: In the grasp of the Dweller

Soon after I wrote my last blog In the midst of Abramelin the operation began to turn a little strange. Only couple of weeks before Christmas, Anton was made redundant. Our main source of income vanished into a thin air leaving us both adrift. The day we heard the bad news I went into my meditation shaken up. Needless to say it  wasn’t going very well.  Axan sent me a strong message to stay on track and promised it will be all right. Perhaps I needed a challenge.

resized-abramelin-op-mandala-07colourWhen myself and Anton looked at the redundancy money we figured it should keep us going till the end of March if we live on a budget. This seemed significant since it would cover the 6 months, a time I considered  as a minimum for my operation. It kept our spirits up when a couple of days later I noticed a job advert perfectly matching Anton’s skills, but we had to wait a month for the interview. Meanwhile the Christmas holidays approached.

I decided to make  Bob’s Christmas Truffles to cheer up our mood and added some used up herbs into the mix. The effects to my surprise were overwhelming. If I ever felt something even vaguely evil during this operation it was that night. It seemed to me that the walls were collapsing over me and that my altar was melting away. I had a sense that something went really wrong. The next day, on December 23rd as I left my evening meditation, Anton welcomed me with the news that Boleskine House had burned down.

resized-abramelin-op-mandala-06-colourIt seems that the Dweller on the Threshold had finally noticed me, but I was not about to give up.  Instead I fueled all my emotions into the meditations and study which was going pretty well.  Both me and Anton avoided talking about our situation and personal feelings as much as possible. It seemed better to keep them to ourselves. We faced the challenge together and gave each other all the support we could without putting additional burden on each other. It worked and my operation continued to grow in strength.