Zalty: DKMU godform Cycle week five

The week with Zalty turned out to be very different from the others. We had guests and were going away for the weekend to stay by Loch Ness. My sister Tara was bringing her friend Akira with her. We had never met him before and although we knew they both had interest in spirituality and magick there was no telling if either of them will get along with Zalty. The social setting resulted in us getting possessed by the pirate spirit!

We put the altar together and did our opening ritual in the morning before our guests arrived. Zalty became present almost immediately. He began by reminding me of my close relationship to water and the sea. He recommended I get back in touch with it by spending more time in and on the water and having  a splash. He also gave me a more general message:

True freedom and independence means being on the move, going where and when you please. The only arbiter is the force of nature itself.

Go where your heart leads you. Explore! Expand!

Trust your inner compass, your knowledge of the life currents. It will take you through any storm you might face. Have courage to be happy. Feel free to want more! Life is an adventure!

Automatic drawing

Next time I connected to Zalty I perceived him not as a personality but as a white ship. I had a vision of myself inside my own captain’s cabin. The boat was empty like a ghost ship. A boat with its own mind. It felt comfy and fun. The cabin was dry and warm and the ship was rocking gently on the calm sea under the starry sky. It was incredibly peaceful. I heard accounts of other magicians having their own safe space in the astral where they can go to do their magick. I realized that this is the ideal safe magickal space for me. I thanked Zalty for providing me with such a lovely and fun home.

Ghetto Tarot: The Star and Knight of Cups

I invited Tara to join my meditation and connect to Zalty. These cards fell out of the deck as I shuffled it explaining all about him. I asked Zalty what is the meaning of the cards. He responded that Knight of Cups is the traveller:

“It’s time to move into the unknown, even if the idea scares you. When you trust deeply, you don’t need to make any elaborate plans or preparations.”

and the Star is the direction:

The stars in the sky are like opportunities in life, the harder you look the more there are. Your hope is your guiding star, follow it confidently into the future. Gain trust and insight into a higher order. Your life is under lucky star.

Message in the bottle

 In addition to painting Zaltys sigil for the altar I also made a small message bottle with his sigil inside. I added some shells, sand, ambers and cloves. It’s visible on the photo below, just to the right of the main sigil. We took it with us to serve as a focus point during the weekend and to eventually be thrown into the water.

Pirate crew

The morning before going away me and Anton did a short mediation in our bedroom. Zalty suggested we go pirate. This meant being dressed fairly impractically. I put on my tie dye trousers and colourful hoodie and Moroccan jacket. Anton dressed similar and put on a navy coat. Akira was wearing Goth and Tara casual sports wear. We looked like a real motley crew!

Both Akira and Tara made a good connection to Zalty and we toasted him by  a bonfire overlooking Loch Ness on the first evening. Next morning captain Anton booked a power speed boat. The day was quite windy and we were warned that if wind picks up any further we won’t be allowed to go. We trusted Zalty to take care of that and he did. When we filled in a safety form staff asked how many under 18s are going. We are all over 30! I think at this point we all really got into a pirate spirit. After brief induction we took off.

The water was quite choppy. The boat went against the wind causing giant sprays and we got completely soaked in the first 15 minutes! It was incredibly fun, especially on the bigger waves. We stopped the boat in the middle of the loch overlooking the ruins of Boleskine, toasted Zalty with rum and threw the message bottle into dark waters of the famous loch. After that we picked up speed again. It was awesome! Zalty had asked me to ‘have a splash’. I think that soaking down to my underwear qualifies!

Boleskine House

After the boat we had to dry off having some noodles. Akira stayed in the cabin while the rest of us went for a walk. When we were gone Akira watched a documentary about Crowley and when we came back he was all excited about going to see Boleskine at midnight. Tara was too tired to go but myself and Anton agreed. My Moroccan jacked and walking boots were still damp, but I didn’t let this put me off. I wrapped up in all I had and we set out.

The evening was calm and gorgeous. The moon reflected in the black loch and as we approached Boleskine we could hear owls. After visiting the grave yard we crossed a boggy field and small wire fence to get to the ruins. Anton was our captain on the boat and this time I took the lead.  I always wanted to see inside the house and now it was my chance! I encouraged my mates to explore every corner of the house no matter ‘danger of death’ sign and spooky atmosphere. This was so incredibility fun! We explored the ruins including a flooded cellar which felt like a sinking ship.

We tagged the wall with LS, Operation Intruder and my Holy Serpent Sigil before moving on. We entered a corridor leading to the more preserved part of the building. There was a white table standing in the middle and on it there was an old book. It was destroyed by damp and most of the pages stuck together. I opened it to see inside and found this:

I feel that Zalty took over this house and gave it to us. It’s an opportunity that can not be overlooked or ignored!

The sinking ship

During my last ritual with Zalty I received the following message:

Boleskine House is your sinking ship. A captain does not abandon their ship! A captain without the ship is like a person who has no dreams. Don’t let yours sink to the bottom of the abyss! Allow them to drift and catch wind again! The ship is sinking in the storm! To save it you must navigate carefully.

Good luck!

Holy Guardian Alien and the Conquering Child.

It has been nearly 3 months since I completed my Abramelin Operation. In the last weeks of it I began working on a sculpture representing my Daimon or Holy Guardian Alien as I  like to call them.  The representation, needless to say, is a frivolous attempt at channeling the inexpressible qualities of this entity. I feel that this has been achieved to a satisfactory degree. The idol became a centerpiece on my altar.

DSCF9790.resizedShortly after I completed the operation I had an alien related dream. In this dream I gave birth or had a baby taken out of my body. There was no pain involved in the birthing, just a strange discomfort. The baby was so tiny I could hold it in my hands. Someone presented it to me. The newborn was an alien-human hybrid, with beautiful almond eyes, dark skin and black hair put in bunches. The babe, although newly born, looked in some sense mature and wise. A superior intelligence seemed to radiate from her. All this is absolutely typical of the accounts given by people taken by the alien creatures. As I looked at the baby in surprise and astonishment I was rationalizing its origins. I wasn’t pregnant so were did it come from? If it was inside me then I must have been carrying it during my operation. It is theretofore a child of my Abramelin. I was certain of this.

The dream left a lasting impression on me and I felt inspired to create a sculpture representing it. As I created it I could not help but think of the rich symbolism of the baby in mysticism and and magic. The alien connection further convinces me of the shamanic nature of the contact experience. Perhaps the alien-human hybrid represents the Conquering Child of the New Aeon, our consciousness being born on a new level. The result of our magick.

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Bending Abramelin rules.

When working with an old text such as The Book of Abramelin it seems wise to make some adaptations based on modern lifestyle. I find it appropriate to discuss my own interpretation of the suggested process at this stage.  I read a lot of interesting accounts and advise from other practitioners who did the operation and were happy to share their own experiences and insights. I took some of it on board but not all just like with the book itself. I am going to discuss in what way I did not follow the book and advice of others regarding the operation.

  1. The Oath. It is suggested that the practitioner swears an oath to complete the operation. I have followed this when I did Liber Astarte and concluded it unnecessary. My understanding is that the oath helps to motivate the individual. I do not need any additional motivations beyond the will to do it. If life circumstances would prevent me from completing the operation I will come back to it as soon as I can.
  2. Fixed duration. It has been suggested to choose a length of time and stick to it. I departed from this rule. I prefer flexible approach where I might aim at  a given length (6 months) but see how it goes. I do not see a reason for each stage of the operation to take equal length of time. I will progress onto the next stage when I feel ready. I have a lot of self discipline and motivation and do not need restrain to keep them up.
  3. Fixed time for daily ritual. The book suggest to do the prayer/orison/meditation at dawn and sunset. This was probably in tune with people lifestyles at the time of its writing. Modern magicians have suggested picking up a certain time, morning and evening and sticking to them with no exceptions. I do them when I get up, after my morning coffee any time between morning up to early afternoon. The second rite falls anywhere between late afternoon and midnight. I find this much easier to manage.
  4. Confession of sins. I had no need for a formal confession kneeling in front of an altar. I consider such thing too loaded with needless religious overtones. However I do spend fair bit of time on introspection. The whole process requires constant questioning of ones own motives and actions. Being absolutely honest with myself seems to come naturally during this operation. As I mentioned in All Seeing Eyes, there seems to be an intelligence at work that gently but pressingly sheds light on repressed and hidden issues. Nowhere to hide.
  5. Having female body. The book suggests women shouldn’t do this operation and instruct men to avoid them when they menstruate. The only difficulty I experienced because of my body is menstrual pain. Its severity forces me to take codeine for 3 days and I find its effects hindering my meditations. It seems a mild inconvenience and not something to worry about.
  6. Drugs and alcohol. The book clearly says to abstain from getting drunk. It doesn’t mention drugs but many interpret the alcohol rule extending to all mind altering substances. If someone has a habit they are not willing to give up for the duration of this operation I would suggest reconsidering the attempt. I definitely feel that substances causing numbness such as codeine and alcohol have a negative impact on my concentration and prefer to avoid them. I also avoid alcohol in social situations. I do have a very small glass of white wine during my evening Sabbath ritual. I intend to keep it that way at least for now. Apart from this, abstinence seems to be a nice experience. My position on other types of drugs seems ambivalent. Anything taken medicinally seems fine to me. I trust my Holy Guardian Angel to guide me on this. I definitely feel that excess of any kind of substance would  not be recommended and generally speaking keeping a clear head is a good idea. Doing so gives a unique opportunity to see how high you can get without drugs.

I might get few rotten tomatoes frown my way for saying all this but it seems fair to share my method honestly. Although my roots are strongly in Thelema I come at this practice from a Chaos Magick perspective. If my attitude leads to failure I will not be afraid to admit it. I do this for myself and not for the prestige and glamour some attach to Abramelin operation.

Generally I trust my relationship with HGA and see following their advice more important than sticking to arbitrary rules. Something I got out from a probationary period in Lectorium Rosicrucianum is the understanding that initiation happens to a certain extent by itself. I am not intending to fake my progress by rigorously adhering to rules. I let my own attitude guide me as to my progress. If I struggle with something then perhaps I need a little bit more time to process it. So far this seems to work for me.

The operation definitely has its own gravity and its own mind. I feel myself being pulled into it like one might be into a psychedelic trip. Meditations become longer and more involved. At this point I feel more comfortable doing up to two hour sessions, very rarely doing less than an hour. The need for solitude, introversion and study arises by itself and discipline becomes almost not necessary. I look forward to my meditations and time focusing on Axan (my HGA). It feels great.

My altar after Sabbath evening meditation.

My altar after Sabbath evening meditation.

Holy Serpent Sigil

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Holy Serpent is climbing through the hottest sun and the heaviest rains, the strongest winds and the hardest rocks to the whole emptiness on the highest top.

This sigil originated from a vision I had after visiting Loch Ness in June 2006. It would not do it justice if i do not explain the circumstances.

I first heard of Loch Ness as a child reading about the monster in  a book on paranormal mysteries. The photograph of the strange narrow loch made a very strong impression on me. It was a mixture of familiarity and exoticness.

One day I was watching a sunset over the Tatra mountains and the clouds seemed to have formed the familiar shape. I felt ecstatic, out of body, beyond time and space. I felt like I was standing on the shores of Loch Ness and had a sense that this will become a reality.

I forgot the vision and the desire until I became interested in the occult and came across the writings of Aleister Crowley. I was very inspired by Thelema and the link to Loch Ness really astonished me. Since then my dream became a goal, my true will. Incidentally this was also when I first heard about the Abramelin Operation.

Thanks to favourable circumstances and a lot of determination I moved to Scotland in 2005. Traveling to Loch Ness became now only  a question of time or more exactly money. I was barely covering my own bills but I already began planning the trip.

It was a middle of winter in Edinburgh. I couldn’t sleep perhaps from cold or hunger, most likely both. I was listening to the wind howling outside half awake in my bed. In this liminal state my mind drifted into a strange vision. I was walking up a spiral staircase in an old, stone building. I arrived at a mazanine floor and noticed a heavy wooden door, slightly ajar. I walked into an empty, circular room. At the back there was a large desk and a cloaked figure standing behind it.  They were drawing a seal of some kind. I came closer and recognise the person as Crowley at around 30. He said ‘This is for you’. I tried to remember what I saw but I couldn’t. How disappointing.

I finally managed to visit Loch Ness in early June 2006. It was absolutely amazing experience. I didn’t get to Boleskine itself but got a glimpse of it from the other side of the Loch. I really fell in love with the whole area. To stand on the shores of this loch felt to me both mystical and magickal. It was a manifestation of my true will, a fruit of my magick. It seemed also that the place welcomed me, that I had found my home.

In the days following my visit I felt supercharged with magick. It was one of these times when you begin to live it. The image of the Holy Serpent Sigil and its mantra began revealing themselves to me in glimpses and took their full form on the 6th of June the same year. In the following days I became aware of two additional sigils and mantras.

I received a clear message that all three relate to Liber AL and that I need to share them with the world. I felt very hesitant to do so. I only showed them to a very few people. They all seemed to have an interesting response to the sigils. Still, like many mystical experiences this one left me feeling like keeping quiet about it.

My own experience of working with the sigil and its mantra suggest that it helps to align oneself to their True Will, Higher Self, Genius  or Holy Guardian Angel.

Abramelin Operation: the begining.

I began my Abramelin operation on 21.09.2015 and am currently in the third week. I have been preparing for it since I was seventeen.  It feels absolutely great to finally do it.

The first couple of weeks were preparatory, fine tuning the process. I ran into  issues with my oil lamp. I attempted to make my own one but after a week of using it I abandoned it. I could not get it to burn consistently. One morning I was in my meditation (eyes closed) to become slowly increasingly aware of a stench filling in the room. The wick went out and was smouldering. My HGA (Holy Guardian Angel) spoke to me with a certain amusement  ‘you are feeling burned out’.

My abramelin Altar with dysfunctional oil lamp on the right.

My abramelin Altar with dysfunctional oil lamp on the right.

I am waiting for a delivery of  a wick to fit into my old oil lamp I used during ‘Liber Astarte’. Meanwhile my HGA  instructed me on how to proceed. From reading the Book of Abramelin and other peoples accounts I figured my life will continue more or less as usual (to begin with). However Axan (Name of my Angel kindly permitted to be shared) had something else in mind. Not one day of my life went according to my plan. I was given simple but concrete instructions to follow which pretty much filled up my days.

Some might ask since I already know my HGA’s name and can converse with them, why do I bother doing Abramelin? I have long suspected that Axan is my HGA but wanted a formal, ritualistic confirmation of this. My main reason for doing Abramelin is to tune myself in properly. I do not like Axan just popping in and out randomly. I want to establish a strong and durable relationship that will help me progress in magick.

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One of the tasks given to me by Axan.

After two and a half weeks I already see an amazing results from this work. Tuning in twice a day seems enough to address three very important issues in my life. The first one regards my obsession with making plans (which as I mentioned went out the window straight away). I never realised that being tied to tight schedule of my own making was creating so much stress. Nice to let go of it.

Second issue dealt with assertiveness and letting go of a sense of guilt in my family relationships. I was working on this one for a while now. I was able to place boundaries with my relatives before the operation but I still had a sense of guilt associated with it. It seems for now that its gone. Time will show of course.

The last big thing that changed regards my listening and communication skills. Again, I have been working on this intensely, especially over the last year. Doing Abramelin and having Axan advising and encouraging me does wonders to my confidence and with this comes much stronger control over emotions.

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Altar with introduced changes.

 

To sum up I definitely had a chance to ruin this operation in its first weeks and I managed to see through it. I credit  principles of flexibility, humor and patience for my initial success.

I intend to write regular updates and share insights in the spirit of Free and Scientific Illuminism.  Axan fully endorses this idea and sends a beam of light to all of you my fellow Agents!