White Queen: DKMU Godform Cycle week seven

After preparing her altar I compose the incense for White Queen. I chose white camphor, sage, rosemary and lemon grass. We performed KIa banishing and did the evocation. I expected to get nothing after reading descriptions of her in DKMU Egregores. My first contact wasn’t easy to describe but I definitely could feel her. I decided to proceed with a tarot reading.

Medieval Scapini Tarot : 8 of wands

Swift activity sudden progress or movement, speed, hastily made decisions. too rapid advancement.

Automatic writing.

The second time I meditated with the White Queen I felt a surge of inspiration and a stream of automatic writing followed.

A blank sheet of paper invites writing, it invites creativity and imagination. But a blank sheet of paper can also be intimidating, invoking our self doubt, fear that can stop us in place.

Blank sheet of paper is like a mirror reflecting our inner light back to us. To realize that in reality our future is a blank sheet can be equally liberating and terrifying.

In the paradigm where all is information, all is language. Every system from  a piece of software to ecology of our planet can be re-written.

My mind thinks of the final scene in ‘Stalker’. Would you want the responsibility for the whole world’s future to rest in your hands?

In reality it does, no matter how much we try to distract ourselves from it.

If we want White Queen to freeze system that undermines us, we need to inject her into its veins. Like a powerful drug she can affect the whole sets of systems within the body. she can trigger altered state incompatible with designed function the system or a an entity is supposed to perform. She is the white crystal, a virus, a form neither alive nor dead.

Her command is FREEZE! She holds you at a guns point. She can pacify, like a ufo taking control over nuclear missiles or switching off electricity grid of a whole city.

she is like a snowstorm cutting of towns and covering all roads. she is the end, the eraser of species. she is the new possibilities and the fresh growth springing up like a snowdrop from beneath the ice.

I feel her presence hitting really strong, like a frosty wind going right into my eyes. Her silence seems to screams at me with its infinite potential.

I remember skiing in a sunshine… The speed and smooth flow on the icy currents transitioning into soft traverse of untouched snow. Drawing the first line on the bank sheet, painting an unknown rune on the snow’s surface. Blinded by the sun, cruising into the unknown, confident and happy, knowing how to land softly. You can forget everything in such a  moment. It’s just you and perpetual movement of life.

She is that moment when drug hits you, when everything slows down just to launch you into space. She is the shock you feel waking up from a lucid dream. She switches the gears. She is that night you can not remember, forgotten deadline, lost connection, missed opportunity….

(At this point unknowingly I skipped a couple of pages in my diary leaving them blank. It seems like a part of the magick. )

…all that reminds you to be watchful, focused and switched on.

She keeps you at a guns point, always on edge, always here and now.

Automatic drawing

Dream of a White Cult

The week with White Queen was getting towards the end and I ended up with another quiet still meditation. At the end I asked her if she has a message and suggested to visit me in a dream. That night I dreamed being trapped in a small town with white buildings. All of them where white like in Greece. I lost my bicycle and decided to leave on foot but the roads were closed. I couldn’t get out. This part of a dream repeated over and over and each time something else prevented me from leaving.

The town itself was calm and pretty. It reminded me of the village in the Prisoner. There were cafés and shops etc. One character drew my attention. It was a tall man dressed like a tramp. He had brown hair and looked really mausy. The weirdest of all he had whiskers so I called him the Whisker Man. He was constantly playing some kind of trick on other people in the town. He seemed not bothered by anything and people for some reason tolerated him. I couldn’t work out why.  I got a sense that if someone will help me to get out it will be him because he has secrets possibly about the whole town. I could tell by looking into his eyes.

Meanwhile I was leaving the town again only to stumble upon police vehicles and a barricade. I decided to try an alternative route along the edge of a steep cliff. I only took few steps when a red camper van went right across the edge and rolled down. It was a pretty bad crush but I noticed there are survivors and began climbing down to rescue them. As I did I lost my footing and fell as well. I managed to garb onto a ledge and hanged there helplessly. The people from the van were unharmed and helped me out onto the road.

When I was back on the cliff top I was greeted by a group of women dressed in white robes. They took me back to the village and into their building. They were part of some cult that they decided to introduce me to. I didn’t trust them at all but seeing no other choice i played along. They dressed me in white and took me to their leader. We sat around a round table next to a window. The leader turned out to be a topless male with a scruffy hair. He had two male topless assistants. They gave him hooks and he started piercing his chest with them. I began feeling faint and my main female guide (possibly high priestess) ordered the male assistants to cover him. She said Polish women generate the opposite type of energy and are naturally sensitive to this. I thought to myself that this is all unbelievable bullshit but kept quiet.  Dream ended.

Dream of a White Dragon

This dream followed right from the previous one. I was going to  a football match with my friends (something I have never done in real life.) We went inside an old brick building to a cloakroom. There was a waiting area there and all the tables were taken by  a large group of blonde girls wearing pink with bunny ears on their heads. They looked like hen party but might have been cheerleaders. We went pass them to go on a chairlift that was suppose to take us to our destination. We all sat together. The sits began moving before I had a chance to put my safety belt on so I did it quickly and so did my friends. We were all giggling with excitement. The ride moved fast and the chairs split so now I was on my own.

My chair was soon in the air but I could see no polls or lines holding it there. The ride was fantastic, like a roller-coaster only better because I was alone and went over the sea and other desolate places. I was laughing and screaming and having a great time. I could see a flock of geese right over my head. It was like one of those flying dream/astral travels. I was almost lucid at this point.

Then the chair landed. I was in a red desert with a mountains and a dried out river. It reminded me of California. The place was overgrown with thistles or some similar spiky plants. Someone was there waiting for me and they were telling me a story but I was distracted and couldn’t listen because I was getting spiked by the plants. I wasn’t sure where we were headed. It seems there is nothing there and no one beside us.

I looked around me and saw a beautiful silvery white dragon land on the cliff edge towering above us on the other side of the river. I recognised it as a manifestation of the White Queen and was just about to approach her when I woke up in my bed to the sound of an alarm clock.

Red King: DKMU Godform Cycle week six

The week with Red king felt to me like a dream. My dreams somehow felt more real than reality and day to day life was foggy and imprecise. It could have been at least partially a result of the week with Zalty. Having such an intense time meant that my energy levels were down and I needed restful and calm time to absorb the experiences. Red king was a great companion to do it with.

My first impression of him was very surprising and sort of overpowering, completely not what I expected.  As I stared at his sigil during evocation an image of Shonen Bat from Paranoia Agent imprinted on my mind and would not go away. Shonen Bat would strike his victims with a golden baseball bat and miraculously their live would improve afterwards. I could not help but also associate him with Lajkonik who’s wooden figurine we placed at the bottom of the alter, between two red candles.

I grew up in Zwierzyniec, Kraków where a yearly parade takes place. Lajkonik represents a Khan who tried to invade the city and failed according to one story. Him riding a white horse connects to a wider Hobby Horse tradition. The parade has a strongly pagan overtones and has been going on for 700 years.

Lajkonik holds a mace with which he strikes people. To be touched by his mace is to receive good luck. I remember being really scared of him when I was little. Above is a photograph my Mum took of him in 2013. You see him touching  a girl with his mace. It could as well be myself since I also would be dressed in traditional Kraków outfit just like the little girl in the picture. I see Lajkonik as a great representation of the Red King.

This insight gave me  a strong impression that Red King can be related to the Crowned Conquering Child of Thelema, Heru Ra Ha . Shonen Bat representing the Hoor-pa-kraat (the child) element and Lajkonik Ra-Hoor-Khuit (the warrior).

Medieval Scapini Tarot : 5 of cups

Partial loss, regret, friendship without meaning, marriage without love, imperfection, flaw, delayed inheritance, incomplete union and partnership

Inside Red King’s dream

First few evenings with Red King were dreamy and meditative with no clear communication except for strange visions of Shonen bat, Lajkonik and Heru ra ha mentioned earlier. During the ritual on Saturday night it occurred to me that since he is the sleeping king perhaps I need to enter his dream to communicate. In my thoughts I asked the permission to do that. Red king responded asking what dream do I want to be part of? I responded by giving him brief outline of my hopes for the future. He liked it and asked why do I consider myself a good character to be dreamed about. I wasn’t sure what to answer to that. He challenged me to come up with a good pitch but  my mind was empty. He suggested I dream the answer. I figured that he can make my dreams materialize as long as I make them entertaining enough for him to dream about.

Automatic drawing

Conjunctio Mass

 One of the things that came out from working with Red King is the idea of performing a gnostic mass during Conjunctio week. Red king suggested that he will be the god and White Queen the goddess and that I should represent him taking on the role of the priest. Anton and I took a simplified version of Gnostic Mass for two and began reworking it into Conjunctio Mass. Red king gave me some feedback and suggestion as to how the mass should look and what elements we should keep. He also guided me in terms of language and titles to use when invoking him. By the end of the red king week I managed to create a working draft ready for the priestess to look at.

Red Staff

After deciding to do Conjunctio mass I began working on my robes and figured I need a staff. It so happens that I have an old staff I bought in Cheddar back in 2009. It’s a beautiful wooden cobra. I never used it for magick before. I always wanted to paint and consecrate it but I wasn’t sure what type of energy it should be devoted to. The Red King provided me with an opportunity. After painting it I placed it beside the altar so it can be fumigated and consecrated during our daily rituals.

Writing of the Pitch.

Red King presented me with a challenge of writing my pitch for him that would convince me to dream about me. I asked him to give me an inspirational dream. All I could remember upon waking up was a dream that had something to do with the Doombringer birth rite. I decided to look into it and found an account by Frater Sheosyrath mentioning 663 being a manifestation of his HGA. This resonated with me because my own experiences with agent 663 had a signature of my own HGA all over it.  Reading about Doombringer evoked him right away and he suggested help in writing my pitch for the Red King. He pretty much dictated it to me as a stream of consciousness. He said that all I need to do is to write it in first person. I did so and presented it to Red king the next time. He liked it.

Pitch to the Red King

I am a crazy child who’s favourite toy is magick.

I play with it to explore my potential, its limits and to see how far reality can be affected.
I am only begging to understand my own abilities and the possibilities that magick can create.
The best fun is ahead of me and I have the courage to plunge right into it.

My true charm comes from so called imperfections. I am stubborn and proud, even arrogant at times.
I can not stand authority and easily get into conflict with it. I am probably reacting to my difficult childhood.
This makes for an explosive combination of personality traits that is bound to result in an entertaining narrative.

Not to mention my libido!

***

Zalty: DKMU godform Cycle week five

The week with Zalty turned out to be very different from the others. We had guests and were going away for the weekend to stay by Loch Ness. My sister Tara was bringing her friend Akira with her. We had never met him before and although we knew they both had interest in spirituality and magick there was no telling if either of them will get along with Zalty. The social setting resulted in us getting possessed by the pirate spirit!

We put the altar together and did our opening ritual in the morning before our guests arrived. Zalty became present almost immediately. He began by reminding me of my close relationship to water and the sea. He recommended I get back in touch with it by spending more time in and on the water and having  a splash. He also gave me a more general message:

True freedom and independence means being on the move, going where and when you please. The only arbiter is the force of nature itself.

Go where your heart leads you. Explore! Expand!

Trust your inner compass, your knowledge of the life currents. It will take you through any storm you might face. Have courage to be happy. Feel free to want more! Life is an adventure!

Automatic drawing

Next time I connected to Zalty I perceived him not as a personality but as a white ship. I had a vision of myself inside my own captain’s cabin. The boat was empty like a ghost ship. A boat with its own mind. It felt comfy and fun. The cabin was dry and warm and the ship was rocking gently on the calm sea under the starry sky. It was incredibly peaceful. I heard accounts of other magicians having their own safe space in the astral where they can go to do their magick. I realized that this is the ideal safe magickal space for me. I thanked Zalty for providing me with such a lovely and fun home.

Ghetto Tarot: The Star and Knight of Cups

I invited Tara to join my meditation and connect to Zalty. These cards fell out of the deck as I shuffled it explaining all about him. I asked Zalty what is the meaning of the cards. He responded that Knight of Cups is the traveller:

“It’s time to move into the unknown, even if the idea scares you. When you trust deeply, you don’t need to make any elaborate plans or preparations.”

and the Star is the direction:

The stars in the sky are like opportunities in life, the harder you look the more there are. Your hope is your guiding star, follow it confidently into the future. Gain trust and insight into a higher order. Your life is under lucky star.

Message in the bottle

 In addition to painting Zaltys sigil for the altar I also made a small message bottle with his sigil inside. I added some shells, sand, ambers and cloves. It’s visible on the photo below, just to the right of the main sigil. We took it with us to serve as a focus point during the weekend and to eventually be thrown into the water.

Pirate crew

The morning before going away me and Anton did a short mediation in our bedroom. Zalty suggested we go pirate. This meant being dressed fairly impractically. I put on my tie dye trousers and colourful hoodie and Moroccan jacket. Anton dressed similar and put on a navy coat. Akira was wearing Goth and Tara casual sports wear. We looked like a real motley crew!

Both Akira and Tara made a good connection to Zalty and we toasted him by  a bonfire overlooking Loch Ness on the first evening. Next morning captain Anton booked a power speed boat. The day was quite windy and we were warned that if wind picks up any further we won’t be allowed to go. We trusted Zalty to take care of that and he did. When we filled in a safety form staff asked how many under 18s are going. We are all over 30! I think at this point we all really got into a pirate spirit. After brief induction we took off.

The water was quite choppy. The boat went against the wind causing giant sprays and we got completely soaked in the first 15 minutes! It was incredibly fun, especially on the bigger waves. We stopped the boat in the middle of the loch overlooking the ruins of Boleskine, toasted Zalty with rum and threw the message bottle into dark waters of the famous loch. After that we picked up speed again. It was awesome! Zalty had asked me to ‘have a splash’. I think that soaking down to my underwear qualifies!

Boleskine House

After the boat we had to dry off having some noodles. Akira stayed in the cabin while the rest of us went for a walk. When we were gone Akira watched a documentary about Crowley and when we came back he was all excited about going to see Boleskine at midnight. Tara was too tired to go but myself and Anton agreed. My Moroccan jacked and walking boots were still damp, but I didn’t let this put me off. I wrapped up in all I had and we set out.

The evening was calm and gorgeous. The moon reflected in the black loch and as we approached Boleskine we could hear owls. After visiting the grave yard we crossed a boggy field and small wire fence to get to the ruins. Anton was our captain on the boat and this time I took the lead.  I always wanted to see inside the house and now it was my chance! I encouraged my mates to explore every corner of the house no matter ‘danger of death’ sign and spooky atmosphere. This was so incredibility fun! We explored the ruins including a flooded cellar which felt like a sinking ship.

We tagged the wall with LS, Operation Intruder and my Holy Serpent Sigil before moving on. We entered a corridor leading to the more preserved part of the building. There was a white table standing in the middle and on it there was an old book. It was destroyed by damp and most of the pages stuck together. I opened it to see inside and found this:

I feel that Zalty took over this house and gave it to us. It’s an opportunity that can not be overlooked or ignored!

The sinking ship

During my last ritual with Zalty I received the following message:

Boleskine House is your sinking ship. A captain does not abandon their ship! A captain without the ship is like a person who has no dreams. Don’t let yours sink to the bottom of the abyss! Allow them to drift and catch wind again! The ship is sinking in the storm! To save it you must navigate carefully.

Good luck!

Trigag: DKMU Godform Cycle week four

It was the first day of DKMU godform cycle week with Trigag. The altar was set up in advance but I still hadn’t composed the incense for him. I had some work to do and I decided to get on with it but my laptop wouldn’t boot up. It seemed to get stuck in sleep mode, unable to shut down or wake up. At first I panicked.  It’s a fairly new piece of equipment that costed a nice sum of money and is essential to my work.  After few minutes of absolute terror and anxiety I managed to get  a grip on myself. ‘Hang on, didn’t I see this happen before?’ I thought to myself. ‘Ok Trigag, have it your way!’. Instead of working on other stuff I went to my herbs and spices drawer, pulled out all I had in there and began testing the ingredients.

I went through a similar process with each one of the spirits. I light up candles on the altar, did a short meditation to get a feel for the spirit and then proceeded to select and test different ingredients. Some would be rejected immediately, some would be selected and the rest put into the ‘maybe’ pile. Then I combine all sure choices and decide if I want to add anything else from the maybe pile. For Trigag I chose peat, labdanum and black pepper, a delightful combination!

After the incense was composed I burned some of it on the altar and I tried to boot up my laptop again. It did so with no further issues. Strange behaviour of electronic devices seemed to plague Trigag week but we didn’t worry about any of it again. It’s simply Trigag’s way of getting attention.

The first evening I perceived the energy and vibe of Trigag to be somewhat vampiric. I had images right out of Nosferatu flooding my mind. Another association that came up for me was the terror experienced when confronted with the unknown. I could not help but see the parallel with Ino. She seems to be the euphoric aspect of confronting the new while Trigag is the fear.

UFO Tarot: Ace of Cups

New ideas and excitement are often signs of the beginning of a new cycle.

Trigag turned out much less intimidating and unpleasant than I expected. My main take out from the week of working with him was to confront my own feelings and fears regarding the future. It’s natural and necessary to take care of your own survival and sometimes you do it at the cost of someone else’s happiness and well being. This somewhat crude and brutal truth stands in contrast to what our society preaches. It is also often used as an excuse for the abuse of power, greedy hoarding of wealth and exploitation. Each one of us has to find where the line between the two lies.

Automatic drawing

Scrying

Towards the end of our week with Trigag we decided to scry from the bowl of salted cuttlefish ink we kept on the altar. We placed it on a  silver brass tray and stared into the blackness. First I saw the bowl as a doorknob and a metallic hatch, then the nob tuned into a pipe or a tunnel. I tried to go in with my mind but before I did  the vision blurred and I saw the bowl on a  tray overflowing. It made me think of the black cancer from X files. Next the black swirled and turned into an ammonite. My thoughts drifted towards Ancient Egypt and Nile crocodiles. I also saw a group of cartoon seals like from the ‘Song of the Sea‘ animation we watched recently.

Black Triangle UFO

On the last evening we offered Trigag some Black Sambuca. During my meditation I had a vision of being taken inside of a giant black triangle ufo. Inside I found damp, humid and stale air and a maze of uniform looking corridors. I was followed by an invisible entity down a spiral staircase. At the bottom of it there was a black void, like a black whole swallowing everything. After arriving at its edge I looked to see the earth disappearing in the distance. I looked in terror and in wonder. The vision faded. When it did I noticed a spider running across the floor.

Ino: DKMU Godform Cycle week three

After a very intense week with Doombringer the time came to welcome Ino. Her energy proved very soothing and gentle but with a very sharp edge.

I constructed the altar in the morning and composed incense for her from white sandalwood, blue lotus, jasmine flowers and frankincense. After evoking her I sat in a meditation. I noticed a familiar strange shivery cold feeling creeping up my spine. It was very strong. I interpreted this as a sign of Ino’s presence. My mind became flooded with impressions and memories somewhat disjointed but connected through a thread of an invisible force. She revealed herself to me as the May Queen decorated with jasmine and other summer flowers. I received the impression of excitement and joy associated with new discovery. She invites us on a new journey.

What I noticed working with her the first evening as well as later is that she directed my attention inwards and towards my body.  Suddenly I could feel all the stiff parts that need a hot bath and some yoga. I could feel the inner tension both physically and psychologically. Becoming aware of it was distracting but also constructive. I was forced to work towards removing it, take some time for myself and just chill.

I didn’t get the conversational chatter from her like I did with Agent 663. She was more distant and subliminal. I took notice of a dream involving seals I had during her week.

Seals

I was on a cliff watching the see. Suddenly I noticed a whole family of seals with young pups coming to the shore. They hauled out onto a peer. I felt a strong connection to them, like usual when I dream or see them in real life. Then a noisy family parked their car on the roadside and began strolling towards the seals. Like a typical British family they seemed to behave like the whole world revolves around them. I approached them and confronted them about it, asking them to be more considerate and do not disturb the seals. The family wanted to see the seals but treated them like cartoon caricatures, not the wild sea beasts that they truly are. The father began asking me where I come from and behaving semi racist. I was able to deflect his dominance display and point to the practicality of sharing the space both with myself and the seals. Eventually the family listened and backed off.

The dream seemed to be a powerful cometary about immigration and my anxiety with  growth in xenophobia and racism. Speaking out in defence of minorities often results in being attacked and harassed but doing so can have positive results.

UFO Tarot: 7 of Disks and 4 of Swords

“Keeping the desire for knowledge alive means giving oneself the possibility of growth.”

“Serenity and wisdom are achieved by accepting destiny.”

Know Thyself

Even though most of my meditations with Ino were silent and calm I did feel her presence and vibe during the whole week very strongly. It seemed synchronistic and important that during my time with her I found out about Misophonia. I always recognised that my relationship to sound is different. Misophonia means ‘hatred of sound’ and it’s characterised by a mild to powerful flight or fight response to certain seemingly innocent sounds like typing on a keyboard or the crunching of popcorn. I experienced fits of absolute rage at my mum crunching apples when I was growing up. I could never understand why the sound was setting me off so badly. Everyone can get annoyed at noisy eaters occasionally but this was way beyond annoyed. I felt like I wanted to crush her skull with my naked hands.

All the writings about misophonia I came across focused on the negatives but I have a very rich and beautiful relationship to sound. I recorded an album with my indie band back in 2004 and I love doing sound recordings for my Glen Faramach project. The only time I managed to receive a first grade at university was when I was in charge of sound design for film or worked on an abstract documentary for radio.

I wonder if misophonia can have surprising side effects. Since I remember I always found the sound of pen on paper highly pleasurable  and listening to small sounds can put me in deep trance very quickly. I indulged in this during my meditations especially when Anton went to do his automatic drawings. It was a very interesting self exploration for me.

Automatic drawing.

I find the use of empty space in both 663 and Ino drawings interesting. It’s a great example how this technique can produce unique results.

After few days of silent meditation I did receive a very clear message. We decided to independently asked Ino for advice regarding our creative projects and how to get them to the point of being self-sustaining financially. I was surprised at what followed. It was a continuous, unbroken stream of automatic writing that filled 3 pages of my diary. The advice was comprehensive, detailed and very precise. It covered all the bases and gave me a very practical and down to earth run down of do’s and don’ts both personal and interpersonal. I will definitely follow up on that.

Overall my week with Ino felt like a small peak through an ajar door. She is clearly multifaceted  and has more to offer than one might initially suspect.  There is something really tough about her. Something disconcerting and uneasy. She definitely represents a side of magick I have been neglecting for various reasons, one that I need to reconnect  with.

Conversations with Agent 663

This is a transcription of my conversations with Agent 663 aka Doombringer that took place in my second week of DKMU Godform Cycle.

Wednesday 08.03.2017

 I am in front of the black ziggurat on a desolate plane. 663 walks few steps down towards me.

663: Who are you?

DV: My name is Dana Varahi and I am a magician. I came here to see you.

663: Tell me something I don’t already know! What do you want.

663 sounds almost confrontational and defensive. He comes closer and is now right beside me. Everything seems to be changing size, myself includied.

DV: I want to make friends.

663: What for?

663 is looking right in my face invading my personal space to the point of being rather uncomfortable. He moves around, appears and vanishes from side to side. Sometimes he and all else seems small as if I am a giant and other times I seem to be shrinking right to the size of a little child. It reminds me of Alice in Wonderland.

DV: To be completely honest I came here to check you out and decide if I want to be friends with you. I am looking for magickal allies who will help me to project my will onto the reality. There is a lot of strange things going on right now and I need all the help I can get.

663: What’s in it for me?

DV: I will visit you everyday for a week and I will spread word about you. This place you have here is amazing, so peaceful and quiet. I will pop in for a pipe once in a while. I get this feeling like I know you and you are an old friend. Did we meet before by any chance?

663 relaxes around me a bit but still keeps a guard on. I am not sure if I should trust him but I do like him and feel like I know him. I get the strong impression he visited me in my dreams on multiple occasions.

663: I do not recall.

DV: You didn’t sent an informant to me?

663: Can you see anyone around? I don’t have any informants. (laughing)

I get a strong feeling he is lying to me and behaving mischievous. Perhaps I need to give him more time.

DV: I will leave you to your pipe!

663: See you later.

Thursday 09.03.2017

 I am having this conversation in front of my altar and on the stairs of the ziggurat at the same time. 663 carries on behaving formal as if he is in a business negotiation.

DV: I am not sure yet of what changes I want to make to the reality. I was hoping that being in your position, outside of time, might result in a valuable insight.

663: Ah, I see! So you want advice!

DV: Yes.

663: I need to know more about it! If you can not explain it to me, I can not advise.

DV: All right. There are people out there who want to take away my rights and my future away from me. I need to stop them but I am not sure that I have enough power to do that. There are many people involved in this situation apart from myself. I am not sure how to best direct my energy and resources. I need to protect myself but I also need to help others. I need all the help and advice I can get. will you help me?

663: That depends…

DV: Yes? On what?

663: On what you are prepared to do in return and on what you would like me to do about it.

DV: How about you give me some advice?

I deliberately leave the price for the advice not negotiated. I know very well that this is  not a good idea but I want to see what 663 will do about it. I am happy to risk it.

663: Are you certain you want to hear what I think?

DV: Ehm, yes.

663: You are needlessly complicating things for yourself. You need to scale down your expectations and focus on the basics. You are stronger than you think.

DV: Thank you. That’s useful. Anything you want to add?

663: One thing at a time! Now! Where is my reward?

I suddenly remember about the spiced rum I prepared and go to the drink cabinet to get it. I pour 663 a glass and decide to taste if it is spicy enough. I put a single drop on my lips to taste it. It burns like a fire! I run out to the kitchen holding my hand to my lips, wash them with soap and water, eat a few spoonfuls of yoghurt hoping for some relief and wash again. All the while I hear and see 663 rolling down in laughter on the steps of the ziggurat. I laugh too and come back to the altar with my lips still burning hot from the habaneros.

663: That was certainly worth seeing! Do come back!

DV: I will. Anything I could bring for you next time?

663: Yes, you could bring me my spicy food. I am happy to share some with you. (giggling mischievously)

DV: Thank you Doombringer.

663: Pleasure was all mine.

Allowing 663 to play a trick on me definitely worked. We established a rapport and I have a feeling he is going to be more friendly with me since now.

Saturday 11.03.2017

Doombringer and I sit together on the lower steps of the black ziggurat sharing spiced rum. I cooked him some curry yesterday and drew a tarot card as a message in return. We are definitely becoming closer with each other, much more like friends.

663: It’s not the end of the world, is it?

DV: I don’t know! you tell me Doombringer!

663: Are you happy with the advice i gave you yesterday?

DV: I am. I would like to ask something.

663: Yes?

DV: Finding the way out of a financially difficult situation. How do i do that? Should we focus on our creative projects or prioritize moving to Ireland?

663: How should I know? What i mean is that the best way to make profit isn’t always what makes you happy. Everything is a trade, give and take.

DV: From where you sit, what is most important in life?

663: Nothing is important. You live and you die, that’s all.

DV: So my choices make no difference?

663: They make a difference to you, don’t they? You do not need to be troubled by all that. Sorrows are like shadows, remember?

DV: You feel like such a good, old friend Doombringer. How come we haven’t met before?

663: Ehm..

Couple of lights on the altar went out and I relit them. I also light up some more incense.

DV: I am glad we have met. Being around you feels very empowering and healing.

663: Some need to be crushed and some need to be rebuilt. I am happy to do both. I have the amber you lost in the past. It’s here!

He holds it up to the light. it shines brightly.

663: You need to have the courage to walk into the storm.

Doombringer puts the amber inside my solar plexus. I feel warmth and light inside.

663:There we go! All done! Nothing is lost forever.

DV: Thank you! Do you have a last word for me or something you would like?

He lights his pipe and puffs out a cloud of smoke. It reminds me of the smoking caterpillar.

663: You are free to go. I am just going to chill out now, goodbye.

 Full Moon, Sunday, 12.03.2017

663 appears as a male around 30 this time. He resembles a mysterious magician figure from my dreams.

663: You recognize me Dana Varahi. You remember me from your dreams.

DV: oh, yes! I do. Why did you reveal yourself?

Agent 663: Perhaps because the world is ending right now. I am going to help you, I decided. It doesn’t have to be worth my time since I have all the time I need. You arrived here after all.

DV: I have a feeling that you sent out someone for me. I am not here uncalled. how is that?

Agent 663: I travel freely along the Ellis net. I go where and when I please. You didn’t call me. I stumbled upon you in your sleep.

DV: So you entered my dreams?

Agent 663: Yes.

DV: Were you the black warrior with a black panther I had to kill?

Agent 663: Yes.

DV: Were you present in my ’11’s’ dream too?

Agent 663: I was watching.

DV: The informant?

Agent 663: Yes.

DV: The magician at the top of the black pyramid?

Agent 663: Yes, of course!

DV:The pregnant laughing man too? Where you following me for that long?

Agent 663: I exist. I am present. time has no meaning. No past or future exists where I am. All is one.

DV: Can you reveal secrets? Even deep and dangerous ones?

Agent 663: You mean like state secrets?

DV: Yes, something like that.

Agent 663: I have little patience for politics but I could see if this could be arranged. What secrets you want to be revealed?

DV: I want full transparency, all secrets of the powerful who keep the rest of us disempowered. All secret communications between the big corporations, military-industrial complex, oil companies, big pharma, governments, mob, bankers…

Agent 663: Whoa! That’s a lot of secrets!

DV: Can you do it?

Agent 663: Heh, heh.. Are you sure you want this? Do you realize the possible consequences of it? Do I need to remind you it could mean genocide and war?

DV: Yes. would it be worse than what people endure already?

Agent 663: It could be much worse!

DV: But it doesn’t have to, right?

Agent 663: Perhaps… I will need TIME to think about this. Why do you care? Why not ask something personal instead?

We discussed personal matters before saying goodnight. It was a very long and involved evening giving me plenty to think about.

 Tuesday, 14.03.2017

I meet Agent 663 at the black ziggurat and he takes me for a hike through the jungle.It looks amazing. It is alive and looks like a fractal hallucination, composed of plants and insects. I feel completely disoriented in here.

We finally arrive at some ancient ruins towering above the forest canopy. We sit in silence admiring the view. First stars appear in the sky, you can hear evening animal and bird calls. Jungle stretches to the horizon. Strange mysterious lights emerge from in between the trees and dart off in all directions like insects. There is no sign of civilisation except for the ruins.

Agent 663: I need to warn you against your fear. It clouds your judgement.

DV: Is my fear misplaced?

Agent 663: What is fear?

DV: An instinct.

Agent 663: and when you fear imaginary things?

DV: It’s being paranoid or worried, or both.

Agent 663: It’s being scared of possibilities, good or bad. When you do that you limit yourself.

DV: How can I not be afraid?

Agent 663: This is why I brought you here today. I wanted to show you the Earth after humanity is wiped out. The absolute worst case scenario. You see how beautiful it is?

DV: Wow! Doombringer! That is a bit heavy, but yes, It’s awesome. (giggle)

Agent 663: It puts things in perspective, doesn’t it?

DV: It sure does!

Agent 663: Do you want to know the best possible outcome?

DV: Yes.

 I am hoping to be indulged in some utopian vision of future reality.

Agent 663: You live happy life till you grow old. Which one do you think is more likely to come true?

DV: I guess I have no choice but to find out!

Agent 663 followed to give me some more pragmatic insights delivered with equally charming straightforwardness. It was our last conversation to date.

 

663: DKMU Godform Cycle week two

After spending a week with Ellis I was looking forward to exploring Doombringer or Agent 663 as I got to call him. It was a very different experience because I have never done any work with Doombringer before, as far as I was aware. I was well prepared for this week. I made some spiced rum, I bought a back-flow incense holder in the shape of a black pyramid and a set of incense cones to go with it. I also composed my own powdered incense by crushing together some hemp seeds, cedar twigs and black storax.

Myself and Anton constructed an altar for 663 and we were ready to go. This time I had made the sigil to act as focus. We opened with a KIA centring and followed with evocation. This time I read it and Anton did the chimes. We partook in a sacrament and followed with visualisation.

I imagined myself walking through a jungle and walking out onto a desolate plain covered in ash like in snow. A faint low hanging mist obscured the vast expanse doted with distant ruins. I walked towards the nearest structure emerging from the fog. It was the black ziggurat and 663 was sitting at the top. He appeared as an old man in a tatty black suit, with messy, dark grey hair. He behaved as if he was suspicious of me and began asking questions in semi confrontational manner. I introduced myself and said I am a magician. I noticed that everything including myself changes size and is in a  constant flux. 663 approached me very close, uncomfortably so, invading my personal space. I didn’t’ feel threatened by him, opposite in fact. He seemed like a good old friend to me somehow. I asked him about it but he denied. His act was formal and calculated. I decided to leave him to it till the next day. It was a good introduction.

Habanero rum

On the second day our dialogue progressed a little and 663 played  a joke on me. I let him do this out of curiosity and a sense that it will help to build some rapport. I asked for his advise without agreeing to a reward. Once he asked for a treat I gave him some rum spiced with habaneros. I wanted to taste a little and burned my lips to his amusement. He teased me about it before we said goodbye. It was very funny. Good old trickster!Tarot: 5 of coins from the Tarot of the trance deck

The five of coins symbolises getting out of financial troubles and ability to see a larger context of things. It warns against being distracted from true deficits, overrating your loses and using money as compensation.

Lost Amber

On the third day 663 was friendly and chilled out with me. We at together drinking rum and had a chat about the tarot reading. I tried to ask about knowing him from elsewhere and he avoided the answer. Instead he produced from his pocked a small amber. I found it on a beach after a huge storm when I was a child. I later lost it and felt sad because I interpreted it to be a gift from the sea. 663 placed it inside my Solar Plexus. It felt warm and radiated courage and optimism.

Agent 663

The next day Doombringer appeared to me in his younger version resembling a lot  a mystery magician from a series of lucid dreams I had over the years. I asked him about different dreams and he confirmed his identity in all of them. We then proceeded to talk some more about our magical collaboration. Agent 663 surprised me with his frank and pragmatic point of few. I was left with a lot of thought about many things we discussed. My was mind blown that I had finally discovered the identity of the mysterious figure appearing in my dreams. Doombringer explained that he had access to me through the Ellis web. It makes a lot of sense.

Automatic drawing

I made this drawing on Monday 13th March’17. During this ritual I felt very strongly like I was being pulled out of my body. Agent 663 wanted to show me something but a growing headache prevented me from continuing the meditation. I left it till the next morning.

End of the world

On the last day Agent 663 took me on a virtual hike in a  jungle. We climbed ruins of some old temple to worship the lovely view for the evening sky. There were some strange orbs of lights floating over the canopy, darting in all directions and making impossible manoeuvres not unlike ufo’s. I didn’t get to ask Doombringer what they were. Apparently he wanted to show me the world after humans disappear. One of the possible outcomes of our demise. It was beautiful and peaceful. Agent 663 wanted to put things in perspective for me and he certainly did that. He even quoted statistics on numbers of humans who witness the annihilation of our species. Wanting to live happy to an old age suddenly doesn’t seem like such an unlikely outcome.

It was an incredible week. I did not expect the magick to be so intense and the contact with Doombringer so powerful. I am definitely looking forward working with him in the future and expanding on some of the plots we discussed.

Ellis: DKMU Godform Cycle week one

Myself and Anton started the DKMU Godform Cycle on 1st of March’17 with a large bonfire in our garden. We drew chalk sigils around the fire pit and spent a while staring at the flames and toasting bread with cheese. After we were done with the fire we came back inside and performed the evocation in front of our altar.

We performed evocation everyday for the next week and each day was slightly different. On the first night I did a tarot reading, the second night I received a telepathic message from Ellis, the third day I created a small red queen faery and watched it morph into shapes. We also did automatic drawing and towards the end Ellis told me about linking memories by visiting them and placing the sigil in them. Overall it was a very good week of magick and I feel that I got to know Ellis much better. To close the one week working we smoked the house with incense made of rose petals, dragon’s blood and saffron.

Tarot: the 5 of Swords from the Tarot of the trance deckThis card sent out a warning against allowing a conflict to escalate, seeing enemies around and choosing the most difficult path in life. It seems a timely message considering socio-political climate of 2017.

Message from Ellis

Ellis appeared to me very much as the Grandmother spider. I visualised her travelling through different reality tunnels, stretching her web across space time. She spoke to me about the importance of making and keeping connections alive.

Everything is connected. The magick web spins across the universe and beyond. Some get trapped by the web while others travel freely along its threads. There are those who spin and those who tear the web. Grandmother Spider knows them all! Those who spin are her children, those who tear are their food and nourishment. All must thrive!

Red Queen Faery

This faery was created on Friday. It was a gorgeous, warm day and we decided to do magick in front of our outdoor altar. Anton placed an LS stone in the centre, we burned incense and drank sangria enjoying the early spring sunshine.

I had an idea of creating an Ellis fetish using our cut hair from our Chelsea Manning ritual and some wool. I used needle felting to bring them together. It took me a few hours to make the shape and decorate it. As I did I was imagining this faery to stretch cobwebs with her wings wherever she goes.

I placed her on the altar for our evening meditation. The low light, flickering candles and sangria in my system brought the faery alive. She was morphing from one gorgeous female into another. Each with unique style and  personality but still recognisably Ellis. The forms I saw didn’t look like a faery at all, they were more like  photographs or realistic paintings. some looked like cartoon characters. It was pretty awesome to see her like that. Each incarnation radiated strength, confidence and was glamorous in its own way.

Automatic drawing

I did this towards the end of the Ellis week. The web seems to be populated with funny cartoony faces. Some really make me giggle, especially the little one in the centre.

DKMU Godform cycle.

A few weeks ago, myself and Anton received a tarot reading from agent Idris ElSenussi . It had to do with our plan for a patreon project focusing on evocation. The reading was very detailed and very insightful. One of the things that Idris suggested to us during the consultation was to work with one of the DKMU godforms, the Red King. I never ignore such invitations especially when the person suggesting it seems so in tune with the kind of magick I like to do. Myself and Anton decided to get  a copy of The DKMU Egregores (Liber Ellis part 3.)  We figured it was the best way to learn more about the Red King.

The book arrived shortly and I was very pleasantly surprised with its easy layout and hands on instructions. We began reading through it and noticed that we are coming up to the anniversary of the workings mentioned in the book. After reading some of the book we decided to get on with it and prepare ourselves for performing the Godform Cycle.

We have employed LS in our magick before and incorporated it in our Operation Intruder workings. The Linking Sigil is now present on two of the KIA egregore dolls as well. We definitely established a strong connection. We also had an attempt at evocation of her early on.

Anton got  a bit better results than myself that time but we both felt that what we did in terms of evocation wasn’t good enough. Giving it a go again seemed like a fun thing to do. We figured that since we want to work with Ellis and Red king why not get to meet the whole lot!

As we went through the book we took notes and created a list of items we might want to use and of those we need and do not have. This included incense and accessories for our altar. It was very exciting to be preparing to do an extended magickal operation again, especially evocation. It has been a  year since I completed Abramelin and I feel it’s just about time to try something new. My last few months were very focused on helping Chelsea Manning which was a great experience but it meant  putting my evocation on hold and I missed it. It’s good to be back at it.