In the midst of Abramelin.

When I wrote my first Abramelin blog I had in mind a regular update possibly once every two weeks or so. At the time it seemed like a reasonable goal. I find it surprising how little time I can spare for it. There are so many different things I would like to share about this experience, the operation has many aspects worth covering. Perhaps I will revisit them retrospectively after the completion of the process. In this update I want to take a broader look at where I find myself.

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Mandala from late October.

Faith must be slain by certainty, and chastity by ecstasy.

Today is my 92ndh day of the operation. I entered the second stage a month ago. My lifestyle is now strongly dominated by meditation, introspection, study and reading. The reality of my HGA (Holy Guardian Angel) becomes increasingly more tangible and my perspective on the Angel shifts constantly. To begin with it seemed possible that the angel was a figment of my imagination or the result of wishful thinking. There were moments when I considered the possibility that I experienced an archetypal force of my own psyche. My current feelings tell me that I am dealing with a powerful entity that has an independent reality. Every moment spent in the presence of the angel gives me strength, understanding and incredible amounts of love. I find it really hard to put in words.  J. Daniel Gunther describes this in The Angel & The Abyss:

While still rudimentary, compared to the later relationship we are capable of enjoying, it is nevertheless a soul-stirring experience. These first experiences are generally brief. We call these precious moments a kiss from the Angel.

I enjoy them on a regular basis. In addition to the general feelings brought upon by these experiences I also receive a lot of information. My diary is filled up with messages from my HGA. These come to me as what in UFO lore people call ‘downloads’. A sudden knowing and clarity, an illumination if you wish. The content of the ‘download’ becomes translated through my personality. What I write in my diary is me putting into words a non verbal communication.

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Mandala from November.

My life is certainly undergoing a powerful transformation felt and manifested on all levels including down to earth existence in Malkuth. Some disruptive and distracting events did take place. I am unwilling to describe details for personal reasons. I will do so later. My attitude to these disruptions turned away from perceiving them as plain interference towards a view that they constitute an essential and integral part of the process. I channel all emotional states raised by changing circumstances and introspective revelations back into the operation. It seems crucially important to keep this circuit going from strength to strength.

I feel incredibly lucky to have Anton at my side. His encouragement and support make a really significant difference. I find the presence of  a loved one not only comforting but also very enriching. Without others we truly do not have a way of looking back at ourselves. Everyone performing Abramelin or a similar operation would benefit from trusted and understanding companion.

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Mandala from December.

6 thoughts on “In the midst of Abramelin.

  1. My advice to anyone seeking to support another through the Abramelin is this:

    DON’T DO IT!

    …unless you are prepared to prioritise the success of the Abramelin working no matter what chaotic obstacles appear to thwart the effort. You must trust the process as much as the magician undergoing the process. You may feel drained at points and have little energy for your own magic. You must shield the participant as much as possible from interaction with the outside world.

    You must love them and be prepared to see them grow and change. And change they will…

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    • I fully agree. This shouldn’t be the task of one man or one woman but for society as a whole. But we have to start somewhere. For now I’m fully prepared to keep battling through it on my own, but after this (idealist, or INFJ that I am) I sincerely hope to be able to make a change and participate in creating an environment where people can perform their Will without feeling persecuted half of the time. But well.. dreamers are dreamers.. and I’m one of them.

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  2. Good luck guys! I am currently fighting demons of my own- might be an offshoot of Dana’s Abramelin but more likely it is a continuation of the process that started a year ago with my kundalini awakening. It almost feels like this metaphor when your soul is measured on top of the scales. You see the weight of all your deeds and the pain they caused for you and other people. There is nothing you can do to change the past, you need to accept it. And then there is wisdom gained from all mistakes committed and love and acceptance from the divine realm. Different revelations come every week, sometimes every few days. Whatever it is that is happening to me it’s a change for the better
    I feel that Kia community is about to transform
    Btw.- Dana, i love your drawings, very Egyptian vibe with some south American tinge to it . I feel strangely familiar with them

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  3. Pingback: Abramelin: In the grasp of the Dweller | Dana Varahi

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